Contrary to what most folks think I spend a lot of time alone. And when I'm alone with my thoughts and memories I find myself thinking a lot about Larry. Sometimes even having chats with him (at the expense of not sounding crazy to anyone reading this). I do chat with him in my own way. I always feel him near me when I'm playing. Especially in New York City and Japan. I know how much the Japanese revered him as a God. I couldn't agree more.

Most of us DJs at some point in our lives feel like Black Sheep or, the odd person because of our love and connection to music that most of our families and associates can never really relate to. So when someone comes into your life that you can connect with on this level your whole world turns into something almost unreal. All of a sudden you have a twin. Someone who thinks the same as you. Feels the same as you. Someone that finishes the sentences you've started. And on that odd occasion when you're at odds with one another, the world becomes a dark and lonely place. If feels like the sun refuses to shine. And when you both realize how silly you've both been because neither of you can remember why you were mad at each other, all of a sudden the clouds part, the sun begins to shine again, birds are singing, the world feels new.

This is something that happened to me and Larry many years ago when we were playing at Continental Baths. Actually, it happened right at the time Larry was leaving Continental for SoHo. Most of our real friends understood the move he was making just as much as I did. But as he was vacating that post from Continental the management wasn't happy. They offered the job to me. Playing 7 nights a week for a salary of $165.00 a night.

Of course, allegiance was to Larry. But evil forces working in our periphery were trying to drive a wedge between us. We both fell victim to the BS. People telling him one thing and coming back and telling me something completely different. It was like that 'elementary school girl shit'. Y'know, "baddest one hit my hand...". Foolishness! I really felt like with the changes coming about and my deciding to stay at Continental I had really lost my best friend. Not to mention that all of our other friends had turned me into a social outcast. DRAMA!

But as lonely as I felt throughout this whole period, what could I do? I had to stay focused and try my best not to buy into the foolishness. Sometimes Larry could be a 'real little girl' about things. Especially when they didn't go his way. So, I dealt with it until one day about what seemed like a year later (actually only a month had passed), I ran into Larry at Downstairs Records, when it was located in the subway station at 42nd Street and 6th Avenue. He was there with another close friend of ours looking for new tunes. I was so frightened because I didn't know what to think or to say. When he (Larry) saw me he tilted his head slightly to the right, like a precocious puppy. Then let out a hiss like a Cat. I knew this couldn't be good. We always hissed at folks we weren't feeling back in those days. It was our way of throwing SHADE. But to my surprise he ran over to me and threw his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. I guess he could see the tears welling up in my eyes and knew that he struck a nerve (even though he was only kidding).

He then pulled me into the back of the store away from everyone and told me how sorry he was about everything that had happened. And me standing there balling like a big baby couldn't contain myself well enough to tell him how sorry I was. But when I composed myself I told him that I would walk away from that club and any club before I let something like that ever come between us. And his words to me were, "Don't be ridiculous. Continental can be a great place for you to grow. I was never jealous or mad about you staying on there after Richard offered me SoHo. It was time to move on. It was the best decision I've ever made".


Many years later when I moved back to NYC after being in Chicago for 10 years, I ran into Larry one night at 'The Choice' (Richard Vasquez' party which took place in David Mancuso's LOFT space, around the corner from THE WORLD on The Lower Eastside). Being as silly and giddy as we always were when we were kids Larry reminded of this whole period in our past. He talked to me about how much it broke his heart not having me with him when he went to SoHo. He told it was "like a special family member that's always there all of a sudden not being there". I told him as I always have, "I've never been more than a phone call away". In all the years Larry and I knew each other Larry only called me on the phone 7 times. It was usually me who called him. I guess it never really bothered me. After all, it was all part of his make-up. It's not that he was inconsiderate or didn't care or love me. I know how much he did. It was just a part of who he was. If you had something and he needed it desperately, he'd call you.

A few years later when I was playing at SOUND FACTORY Larry surprised everyone by showing up one night. He came into the booth to hang out with me. It must've been about 7 or 8 in the morning. The party was carrying-on. Everyone was feeling lovely. I asked Larry would he like to play 'One For One' with me? This is how we use to sharpened our skills when we were first getting started (Back In da Day). Learning to slip-cue, learning our music and creating sets. He said no, he didn't know any of the music and was afraid he might change the energy in the room. And this was when I first premiered 'THE PRESSURE' by The Sounds Of Blackness. He kept asking me to play it over and over. So if any of you reading this was on the dance floor that night and was wondering why I was playing that tune like that, now you know why.

But before he left the booth that night he turned to me and wrapped his arms around me and told me how proud he was of me and all the wonderful music I was making. He told me how legendary he thought 'THE WHISTLE SONG' and 'THE PRESSURE' were and that he was happy that I was back home in NYC.

Now you all know why occasionally I have my own private chats with him (in the privacy of my own mind) and, always feel his presence around me whenever and wherever I'm playing. I am so fortunate to have shared the greatness of man like Larry Levan. His spirit keeps me humble. His knowledge continues to educate me. His love lives. Always!